Funny Jokes!
He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
Art exhibition
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. ''What on earth,'' she inquired of the artist standing nearby, ''is that?''
He smiled condescendingly. ''That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.''
''Well, then,'' snapped the little old lady, ''Why isn't it?''
Cook For Cock
While tending to her housework, a woman asks her husband
"Will you please fix the cabinet in the kitchen? It's been barely holding on to it's hinges for weeks now."
He replies "Does it say 'carpenter' on my forehead?"
Surprised, she lets it go and returns to her housework. As she begins to clean the bathroom, she notices that the lever is getting stuck. She yells from the bathroom,
"Honey, the toilet's lever is stuck again! Can you fix it?"
She comes into the living room to find him reading the paper. He responds to the puzzled look on her face with...
"Do I have "plumber" written on my forehead?"
The next day, her husband comes home from work to find the Cabinet fixed, the toilet fixed, and a chipper spouse making the bed in the master bedroom.
"Who fixed everything?"
"A kind young gentleman came by today, said he was a handyman and asked if I needed anything done around the house. When he finished, he said I couldn't pay him with cash because I don't keep it around the house. He mentioned that was fine and that I could pay him by sucking his dick or cooking him a good meal."
"What did you cook for him?"
"Does it say "chef" of my forehead?"
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